I watched Bachelor yesterday and for some reason, I didn’t think the chosen Bachelor was that good looking. I much prefered one of the rejected ones, John, if I’m not wrong, the last guy who was a financial controller. My mom likes the Army captain, the first guy. The women didn’t look very attractive to me too. I'm not sure if I'm even motivated to watch the upcoming series. I've given up watching Meet My Folks. I'm usually asleep by 11pm nowadays. It's just too late.

I received a blow yesterday, not really sure if I can call that a blow, but I knew I was somewhat affected by the comment. The trainer whom I worked for the first time was saying I seem to be in a rush and didn’t had time to pause. I told him yes, I am very busy with projects. Then he seem to imply that I lacked that passion and even though I knew it was true to a certain extent, I did not know what else to say. I knew he meant it in a good way and was trying to help me find my passion, but I guess I was overly-sensitive in response to his remarks. I went home, feeling very low and asked my mother if she had passion in her work. She told me maybe few years back she had, but not now for sure. I found comfort in knowing that I’m normal and that I’m not the only one who seems to lack the passion.

I try to find my underlying passion, and money isn’t really the main thing. Money helps to pay bills and put the next meal on the table, and money gives me the opportunity to travel more extensively and to pursue my dreams in learning and indulging in my sewing passion. I do not deny that money also provides me a sense of security.

Today, my trainer (the guy whom I caught with his pants down) . came down to do a seminar and by the end of the day, he had an short interesting coversation with me.

Him: I'm so sorry I got your name mixed up with Kat.

Me: That's OK, really.

Him: Look, I don't remember when I last met you, but I think you've changed...did you?

Me: (eyes grew bigger, not sure if the change was for the better or worse) Hm...changed? How so?

Him: That's the thing, I can't explain.

Me: Ok, I know you've not met me for a long time. I was sick the last time you were here.

Him: Yah, that was when I missed you.

Me: I think the last time you saw me was in March last year.

Him: That's a year ago!

Me: Yes, it's been a while.

Him: I think you're all grown up...you've matured, become a woman.

Me: (not sure if I should take it as a compliment, but I think he meant it in a good way) Oh..thank you.

Him: I don't mean to say you were immature in the past, but you're just different.

Me: Thanks, really.

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