I thought about putting myself here, in 2003 and look back at how far I have been in the past year. I think I made a lot in personal growth, I’ve been closer with my family. I’ve never lost my temper that much. I had a lot of peaceful moments, I feel so much in touch with nature and the surroundings, and how beautiful life is and should be. There are so many aspects to life, I shouldn’t just base my life solely on one aspect. One year ago, I was frustrated, moody, very miserable and often slept with tears washing my own face. I cried because I knew the end was coming. I spent a great deal of time thinking about myself, in fact punishing myself if it was selfish of me for not giving it a 3rd chance. One year ago, I was still clinging on to the past, and now, I still look back, and those were wonderful memories, but I recognize the need to let go in order to move on to a new chapter.

In the past year, I made new friends, some whom I can really call friends. I still have a lot to work on the old friendships which I regret not diligently keeping in touch. I am lucky to say I have friends whom I can pour out my heart stories to, and knowing they never penalize me for how I feel, but instead give me lots of encouragement and good advice. I learnt a lot about relationships, about understanding myself, my wants and desires and I know what I want in my future relationship. I would say this, by knowing myself better, I think there will be lesser heartbreaks. I seen real life examples of how 2 people in a relationship should treat one another and I have desire to treat my loved one with the same respect. I learnt that love is not you can’t live without the person, but rather, you chose to live life with the person. I learnt that if I don’t love myself, nobody else would.

I can no longer go back to where I stand in May 2002. It doesn’t allow me to, and I don’t want to either. I have grown so much in capacity that when I look back, I think of all these different experiences that moulded me into who I am today. I don’t think I’m unlucky to have a failed relationship, because if I compare it with the other relationships I had with people around me, I am so lucky to have people who loves me and it makes me very happy and cherished.

Life is good. It feels good to be alive and there are things to look forward to. I try not to get too ahead, I want to enjoy the process.

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