I have been plagued by these dreams for the past few weeks, on and off. Though they don’t appear every night, it is enough to put me in distress mode, especially when it appears not once, but 3-4 times. I once dreamt that my aunt died falling off the building while she was trying to retrieve the bamboo stick of clothes hanging out to dry. I saw her lying on the ground bleeding. In my dream, I was helpless and cried and cried. I never dreamt of a family member dying, so I was upset. I told Tracy about my dream and she said someone said dreaming of a family member who died actually meant someone in my family would live a long life. Well it is definitely better if it’s true.

I also dreamt of my ex. What was upsetting was I never quite dreamt of us when we were still together, and several times when I was so in love, I wondered why I didn’t dream of us, maybe I wasn’t thinking hard enough, but why now? And in our dreams, we were loving and affectionate, traits that were missing towards the end of our relationship. So you could imagine that I woke up feeling not so happy that these images weren’t true. They didn’t exist. It bothered me, and I didn’t talk to anyone because I was hoping it was just a one-time thing. No, I dreamt of us another 3-4 times and after that, I’m really affected. I didn’t want to be dreaming of my ex, and in the event, I was actually crying myself to sleep. I was upset that I was plagued with such dreams when I’m trying hard to move forward. There is only one direction I can go and I felt I was doing a good job in it. In short, I was thinking any dreams of us would mean I have failed in moving forward and I hate to think of that. I felt better talking to my friend the first thing in the morning after that about this dream, because it consoled me that I was not alone, and was not the only one who had such dreams before. Yesterday I talked to another friend, and he told me that it was normal because my ex was a reference point, I was not dreaming about HIM, but the emotions that came together with it. It was true. I hate to admit that I miss him, because I really am not sure if it is HIM I missed or more of the companionship of someone I missed.

The girls and I are planning a gathering, and well, when we plan, did we get out of hand. We were sick of the usual “eat and talk” kind of gathering, and so Tracy and I wanted some kind of activity for the gathering, so that by the end of it, we would feel we have accomplished something and not just eat and talk. So we planned:

1) picnic at Botanical gardens

2) canoeing at Kallang River

3) Cycling at sentosa

None of it works because 2 of the girls can’t swim or cycle ;((( Picnic is probably out as they may not want to prepare food and I am not going to do all the work alone. So Tracy and I say, why not…a short weekend getaway trip or one night stay in some fancy hotel (to make use of the promotion to lure locals to spend money)

Now one of the girls say it is a bit rush and we might not be able to get a day’s leave. I am clueless by now. Have you ever tried organizing a gathering and you get all these problems? Then I saw this Picnic in the Sky promotion by the cable car company which lets you rent the cable car in the evening for 2 hrs and you can buy your own dinner and eat up there. But they only allow max 4 person. There are 5 of us, and in fact, we still wouldn’t know if all would be able to make it, we hope! That is a headache for now and Tracy and I have to discuss during lunch today.

Actually I really want to go for the weekend getaway. We used to do it once last year, and it was a good memorable experience for me. Total relaxation and not thinking about anything! We were at a resort island and did we feel pampered! We wanted to go to Angsana resort, you may view the beautiful pictures at http://www.angsana.com/bintan/index_flash.htm

There are some really good spa bargains now and I’m thinking of treating myself to one….

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