2004-01-30 ~ 11:08 p.m. ~ Let it go
When I read widower’s entry, I can’t help but thought about a lot of things. He struck a deep chord within me in some parts of his entry. Though I am not dating a widower, nor have I went on dates with one, but I felt something similar, which is I felt something deep for someone who did not have the faith in us. I think that is the best reason I could think of. He knows for sure how I felt for him, as I put my heart on the sleeves the last time we spoke. However, I think it wasn’t enough. Sometimes it just isn’t enough. To be frank, I am taking it personally at times but I am not blaming him. Because I know better for sure that having that kind of intense feelings for someone isn’t enough. You just need so many more other elements to make it work. Isn’t it strange? I know I have to move on, and though I know he will never be replaceable because everyone is unique, they will leave some kind of footprints in our heart. Some deeper, some lighter. I also know that if he isn’t going to feel the way for me now, it’s not going to change in the future. That makes even more sense that I really should let go and only then can I create my own happiness.
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