Nevertheless, things are still going OK. :)

Some updates.

1. A weirdo guy at work tried courting me last month. Six sense tells me it won't work out, and I don't have that kind of feelings for him. I don't even feel attracted to him, so I know I'm doing the right thing. Initially, it was quite flattering to be receiving attention, and being sensible, I really wanted to know if I really liked him or if I was just happy with the attention I was getting. Why do I call him a weirdo? He claimed to have liked me for a long time, and that even if I was attached, he would have courted me. He also asked me to be his girl friend when we have never ever gone out on a date. That is very scary. It freaked me out. He insisted on sending me home after I worked late a couple of times, and I mean taking a bus together with me. I was taking such small steps to assess the situation. We have nothing in common, and I don’t have much desire to talk to him on a more personal basis. He doesn’t attract me enough to want to go out spend time with him. All he does is sigh all the time and moaning about how his boss hates him. I dislike negativity and pessimism. After some time and careful thoughts, I realized he wasn’t my type of guy. So I rejected him on the spot when he asked me to be his girlfriend. There was no question. This guy doesn’t really take no for an answer, plus even when I told him I won’t and will never have a relationship right now, when my heart and mind is all set on relocating. We’re no longer on talking terms anymore, he thinks I’m afraid of him, but I think he’s the one who is afraid of me and is avoiding me. It’s not my loss anyway, he was just an acquaintance and never a friend. He spilled some of my plans to my good friend, who came by to tell me. I was mad at him, because I didn’t need a loud speaker. It wasn’t a competition of who knows more, and he didn’t have to help me “spread” the word around. He thinks I’m scolding him, when in fact I’m just sending him email telling him to stop talking to her about my stuff, and let me tell her myself when the time is right. I really don’t need a friend like him. Now that I think about it, I’m not even half delighted that such a guy liked me. It makes me feel cheap – what kind of man am I attracting? I know..it’s not my fault.

2. I really don’t enjoy or like my work. It is becoming more stressful, because I’m dealing with all these foreign trainers who are very calculative, especially when it comes down to pennies. I hate the stress, I hate the scale of the projects I’m working on. I work late on some days, and I never had to work late in the past. So times have definitely changed. I dislike working with 2 different bosses, and one of which is incompetent, indecisive and doesn’t know what’s her priority. Instead of helping me out to solve problems, she’s giving me more problems. Do I need to say more? But I’m just hanging in there, till another 6 months time, when I have a clearer picture of when I can relocate. I hope things work out well, because I know for sure, I cannot imagine myself staying at this job for the rest of my life. My spirit is almost depleted. I am only staying for the money, that’s about it. And even then, I am not sure if I can go on doing something I dislike so much for this period. I mean, do I really want to stay just because of the money, or should I look for something less stressful, but pay lesser. I’ll have to think about that. But I know my main priority is to save money. I really need a personal motto at work. I know these few months have been very stressful, having to cope with a boss that doesn’t help me to shoulder my responsibilities, and to be “fired” by external customers. And I take things a little too emotionally. As I always tell Tracy, how can one not feel emotional about things when you spend a good amount of your waking hours at work? I wished I could care less, and indeed I have to learn not to care so much.

3. I came back from hongkong yesterday. I went for a short weekend trip. I much needed a break from work. But I wouldn’t really call it rest and relax trip because we walked a lot and hardly rested or nap. We wanted to cover as many shops as possible. But I had a good time nevertheless. Bought almost an entire new wardrobe and I swear I won’t need any new clothes for the rest of the year. I ate a lot, just looking at people, observing people and wondering what their lives are like. I like their fighting spirit. Their youngsters have so much more courage than ours. They dare to do their own businesses. I admire that and that is something I should learn. I wondered if I would be like them if I was born there. People don’t like staying at home. They like being out in the streets. I wonder how do introverts cope over there. I need my space, and there is obviously not much space over there.

4. My mom quit her job as a kindergarten supervisor last week. Her last day of work would be in end of june. Though she doesn’t express much sadness, I wondered if she felt sad. Afterall, she worked there for at least 12 years and more. She has no plans except probably tagging along with my brother to Melbourne in July when he has to go there for his studies. I think she should take a break and go for a walk. As I always tell her, one window opens when one door closes. And it was a good learning lesson for me. That no matter how long and hard you work, when you quit your job, nobody would say they would miss you, because they always think nobody is indispensable. Should we really slog so hard behind the desk? Is it worth it?

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