Paley's Journal

2005-01-15 ~ 9:55 p.m. ~ 4th Blind Date

I went for the 4th blind date yesterday evening. To be truthful, this isn’t the best time, because I had a lot more important things on my mind. But I went along. He was earlier than me, but I’m cool with it. He spoke to me in mandarin, “I just arrived.” Bad start, I thought, because though I can speak mandarin, I can’t express myself very well in mandarin. He was being a gentleman, sensed my discomfort and said he could speak English. But I know later on, through my observation that he wasn’t comfortable in expressing himself in English (he mainly spoke Cantonese and Mandarin at home), and he was cautious of the choice of words he used in the conversation. I think I would let the matchmaker know I am quite displeased that they did not follow my criteria. One of the reasons I’m willing to give this a try was I really wanted to know more people outside my scope of work, and so that would mean I wanted to know people who isn’t working from any government sector or statutory board. I wanted different opinions, viewpoints. He was from the statutory board and was even delighted that we had a common point. Oh great. Great for him, but big No-No for me. Never mind. We talked about jobs, and I said I wasn’t enjoying my work anymore, and was looking at changing my job, even if it means I had to change into a temporary position or contract work. He did not say he wasn’t happy or happy in his job, but he hope to change to another department within his workplace, and none of the private sector could match in terms of the benefits and pay he has now. So I figured it means he was very happy with where he was right now, career wise. We moved onto hobbies and some trivial stuff and later talked about family. He confessed that he was recently separated from his wife and are going through divorce, hence he is currently living alone. He seem to have difficulty talking about it and looked sad with his head down, so I didn’t ask questions or press him further, I said I understand. I don’t have anything against divorcees, but I think he is still coping with it emotionally, and is still carrying a lot of emotional baggage, but who am I to tell him? He also said that he lost a lot of weight when his wife left him, and he still has not regain his appetite for food.
After our drinks, he sent me home. I thank him for the very nice car ride, and I didn’t mind he de-toured a long way, I just enjoyed the car ride. This was the first time that none exchanged phone numbers, not that I mind. I wish him happiness in the future.

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